He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
