Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Be still, my beating vagina.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
