People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sex in the backyard? Check.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
