Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
