It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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