His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm too high and old for this...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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