Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
