That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
