I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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