dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
