I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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