He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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