he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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