if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
