Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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