my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
