so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
