operation have a gay friend backfired
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize