and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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