I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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