Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize