we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
