No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
