so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
