Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
