Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
