So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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