I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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