just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
