we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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