He had one of those small greek statue penises
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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