If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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