i think i have two assholes
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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