try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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