I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
