New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
