if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
