I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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