i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
