D3 body, D1 cock
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Your cock deserves a montage
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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