I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
