wrigley field is MILF paradise
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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