Got a toothbrush?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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