A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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