I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Terrible idea I love it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
