Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Randomize
