u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I didn't notice because vodka
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
