i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
