I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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