you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
