I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
porn star boner night. come get it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
